Subtly changed for the better
by Sillylittleman
Summary: Pre Thor – Forced into a situation that he isn't happy with and with no support, Loki must face some truths about himself that he does not like. Please review, I'd love that.


**Not overly fond of this one but I wrote it so I'll put it up. It's set pre Thor, quite a long time before Thor happens. Thanks for reading.**

**Truths that have to be faced**

The news that the All-father had given him had shaken him to the core. Married. He had to get married, and the sooner the better apparently. Loki sat on his bed with his head in his hands and contemplated his fate. He could see no way out bar physically running away. He couldn't talk his way out of this, he was playing against Odin All-father and against Odin nobody won in a battle of words. Save maybe Frigga but that didn't help Loki now. Frigga seemed to be the main supporter of Odin's plan, Loki just thought she was more than a little excited at the prospect of a grandchild on the horizon.

Thor however had remained unusually quiet on the subject, he had listened with the rest of the family as Odin announced his plan to wed Loki in the hopes of calming his mischievous nature which had been rapidly getting out of control in recent years, and then Thor had remained silent for the remainder of the talks. He didn't come to his brother's defence though he didn't speak out in full support of the idea either. Loki sighed, he didn't know what to do or even who his new wife might be. He assumed she would be a princess from another realm, wed to him to cement peaceful ties between their two peoples.

Loki could safely say he wasn't looking forward to the immediate future. Sighing again, he readied for bed and lay down to sleep. Though he found his thoughts wandering back to Thor and his unusual behaviour that day, he wanted more than anything to go to him and talk but he hadn't done that in many years, not since Thor had begun to pull away from him and he knew he wasn't truly welcome to come and go as he pleased any more. They were still brothers and they were still friends but their relationship was nothing compared to how it had once been. They had been inseparable as children, if you wished to find Loki all you need do was look for Thor. Everything had changed when Thor had made his own friends, the warriors three they called themselves though Loki had always thought it a silly name but he supposed it suited them really. He had never gotten along with the warriors three, he didn't feel like he fit in. The only one who seemed to see him as more than just Thor's little brother, who was to be tolerated at best, was Fandral, though only when the other warriors were not around.

Even as they had drifted apart and Thor had branched out with his new friends, he still protected Loki when he could and came to his defence when needed but today that hadn't happened. He wondered if the day had finally come when Thor had truly given up on him. Loki wrapped his arms around himself, a strange habit of self comfort that he had found himself doing more and more over the years and tried to clear his mind for sleep. He nestled down into the pillows of his bed and closed his eyes. He stayed like that for a long while, sleep eluded him for many hours until he finally gave up and came to a decision. He got out of bed, he didn't bother to dress himself before he pattered down the hall to his brother's room wearing only his sleepwear. He stood a moment outside the door before knocking, "Brother, are you awake?" he called through the door. The silence that greeted him was not unexpected, his brother had always been an early sleeper, except of course when mead and women kept him occupied. Loki tried again, knocking louder this time, "Thor I'd like to talk to you, are you awake now?" He was rewarded for his efforts by the sound of something hitting the wall next to the door and shattering. Loki smiled at that and took it as permission to enter.

The sight that greeted him would have sent others of a more cowardly nature running for their lives, but Loki had faced worse than his moody brother. The God of Thunder was sat up in his bed, his hair tangled from sleep and his eyes red with tiredness. The murderous look on his face as he glared at Loki was more than a little humorous but Loki didn't want to push his luck and get electrocuted so he stilled his tongue and promptly apologised for the hour of his visit all the while stressing how much he needed his brother now and how kind and good a brother Thor actually was. This usually helped his cause with his brother and once again it seemed to work. The scowl on Thor's face lifted and he only looked tired. That was good, Loki could work with that.

"I wanted to talk about today brother, do you mind?" This seemed to relieve Thor of any remaining tiredness, he sat up straighter in his bed and used the headboard to rest his back. "I do not mind, Loki" He gestured Loki over to his bed. Loki moved and sat perched on the very end of the bed looking away from Thor, there was silence for a moment before he asked, "You didn't say anything today brother, you think this is a good idea? I should be married to someone I do not love just because I enjoy playing my little games with people!" His voice had raised as this speech went on, the betrayal he'd felt after all the years of Thor drifting away from him boiling over and he surprised himself as much as he surprised Thor with his outburst, it was not often he lost control of himself. Thor once again remained silent, only cementing Loki's belief that Thor had finally given up on him. "You didn't help me" he added in a quiet voice once he had regained his calm, his arms snaking around his waist automatically in his moment of need. He ducked his head as he felt Thor move from his former position and kneel behind him on the bed. Loki didn't struggle as he was embraced from behind rather, he let himself lean back into the firm chest of his brother enjoying this moment of comfort.

"I'm sorry I didn't speak out for you but what you have been doing recently... you are going to far brother. You are not the man and boy I was raised and grew beside. Not whilst you play your _little games_, as you call them. You were always mischievous Loki but now you are more often than not cruel and heartless with your_ games_. I do not like this path you take my brother. I would help you, if I can"

During Thor's speech Loki had stiffened in his arms but Thor had persevered, getting what needed to be said out. He didn't move now that he was finished, he just remained as he was, letting Loki decide how to respond to him and his observations. He was surprised that Loki had not pulled away from his embrace but was not surprised that when Loki finally once again spoke his voice was harsh and colder than he had ever heard from his brother, "You wish to help me Thor, is that what you wish?" Still Loki did not pull away but Thor was concerned, he was not adept at the use of words, not like Loki and not like their father. So he decided that honesty was the path forwards. "Of course brother, you are very dear to me, I love you". Loki scoffed at this, "You describe me as cruel and heartless then proclaim to love me, you are either lying or stupid." Now it was Thor's turn to laugh, "I have heard you describe me as much worse than cruel and heartless brother, especially to those ladies to whom I had expressed a liking for" The laughter in his voice at the remembered times they had shared seemed to relax Loki again. He let his muscles, that had been tensed ready to flee or fight, relax and Thor was relieved that he had been able to relax his brother somewhat and lessen the tension in the room though it was definitely still there.

They stayed like that for some time, neither one willing to break the hold until finally Thor loosened his grasp on Loki and moved back down to lie in his bed. Loki looked at him over his shoulder and interpreting the loss of contact between them as a dismissal, he rose from the bed and began to walk to the door to leave.

"Wait, don't go Loki. Stay here. As we used to" Thor pleaded from his spot on the bed pulling down the covers to give weight to his invitation. "Come brother, join me. Your bed will be cold anyway and it is almost dawn. Come Loki" Loki stopped and looked at his brother for a long moment. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with his brother and be held as he slept, as he had so enjoyed as a child, but they were children no longer and Loki couldn't find it in himself to let go of the words Thor had spoken earlier or to fully forgive him for them yet. "No brother, goodnight. I shall think on what you said" Loki didn't wait for an answer before turning and quickly leaving the room.

He later found himself once again lying in his own bed, holding himself for comfort and unable to find solace in sleep due to his racing thoughts. He thought deeply on what Thor had said, cruel and heartless he had said. If Loki was honest with himself he would have had to admit he had been called worse during his life but not from Thor. Never from Thor. Thor had always been the one to speak for him, to trust him when no others would and to get him out of trouble when he needed it. This time Thor would not help him, he was on his own. Well then, he hardened his heart against the words of his brother and set about thinking up new little games to play, regardless of what Thor thought of him, he would do as he pleased. He was the trickster, Loki God of mischief and lies, why should he care for the opinions of others.

Still, as his plans unfurled in his mind, he automatically dismissed the ones that might upset Thor with their nature. He sighed, tightening his arms around himself and planned for the coming days, he had a feeling he would need a few games to keep his spirits up.


End file.
